Wednesday, September 09, 2009

It's the Day


It's the day I dread 364 days of the year.

The day that makes my heart feel like it's in a vice. And the squeezing feeling is unbearable. And it hurts to breathe.

The day that turns my stomach into one giant knot.

It's the anniversary of the worst day of my life.

It's the reminder of this day that made me sob on a recent five-miler in the middle of nowhere. Just me, bawling my eyes out, as I ran down the road. All alone. Without a single witness.

Seven years. My sweet Kristen. Much too long.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Always and forever thinking of you and your entire family on this day. I love you guys!

Annie said...

So sorry!

: (

nikki said...

(((Lera))) Hopefully you'll be surrounded by your family today.

heidi said...

i remember the first time you shared that story with us. friday is the first anneversary of the day my dearest friend lost her battle with ovarian cancer. know that i am here today crying with you. mourning with you. and praying for your heart to heal and never forget.

Sandy said...

Prayers and peace for you today!
So very sorry.

Shutter said...
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beki said...

thinking of you...

Lisa said...

I'm sorry, peace be yours today.

Bridget said...

Thinking of you and your family today!

Sarah said...

((((Lera)))

Know that I am right there with you today.

cici said...

thinking of you, and praying

nikko said...

I am crying for you today. :o(

((((Hugs))))

laeroport said...

Hugs and prayers for you, my friend. You are very much in my thoughts today.

Sam said...

Every been reading your blog for a while and I have to say that day comes too soon. I'm sorry.

FinnyKnits said...

You're in my thoughts today, Ms Lera. I'm glad that run could give you a good place for a good solid cry. Sometimes running does have therapeutic benefits.

Lisa said...

So hard to believe.... seven years. Why does it feel like yesterday and a million years ago all at once? I'm glad we were able to spend the morning together. When we got to the temple, Ian got out of the car and said "Where's Aunt Lera"? :) We missed you. Love you lots.

Brenda said...

Sweetie, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Cindy Is Crafty said...
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Cindy Is Crafty said...

Lera, it is hard to believe it, but it does get easier. Not ever over, but easier. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

When my Mom passed I thought I would never recover from it, but I did. There is a scripture in Jeremiah that gives me comfort during that time and I will share it with you:

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified" (Isa. 61:3).

I clung heavily to that verse for quite a while!

amandajean said...

hugs to you my dear. thinking of you.

Diane said...

I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you.

TinkerBlue said...

hugs and prayers.

dig this chick said...

So hard and unfair. Thinking of you in Montana.

Suzanne said...

Thinking of you today...

onegirliegirl said...

I'm so, so sorry! I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, but my prayers are with you and your family!!

(((Hugs)))

Lisa

jessi said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Lera. Peace be with you.

Gail :) said...

Lera, I am sorry for your terrible loss. Hugs from blogland!