It's the Day


It's the day I dread 364 days of the year.

The day that makes my heart feel like it's in a vice. And the squeezing feeling is unbearable. And it hurts to breathe.

The day that turns my stomach into one giant knot.

It's the anniversary of the worst day of my life.

It's the reminder of this day that made me sob on a recent five-miler in the middle of nowhere. Just me, bawling my eyes out, as I ran down the road. All alone. Without a single witness.

Seven years. My sweet Kristen. Much too long.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Always and forever thinking of you and your entire family on this day. I love you guys!
8:30 AM EDT
Annie said…
So sorry!

: (
8:44 AM EDT
nikki said…
(((Lera))) Hopefully you'll be surrounded by your family today.
8:56 AM EDT
heidi said…
i remember the first time you shared that story with us. friday is the first anneversary of the day my dearest friend lost her battle with ovarian cancer. know that i am here today crying with you. mourning with you. and praying for your heart to heal and never forget.
10:01 AM EDT
Sandy said…
Prayers and peace for you today!
So very sorry.
10:28 AM EDT
Shutter said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
10:56 AM EDT
beki said…
thinking of you...
11:02 AM EDT
Lisa said…
I'm sorry, peace be yours today.
11:51 AM EDT
Bridget said…
Thinking of you and your family today!
12:26 PM EDT
Sarah said…
((((Lera)))

Know that I am right there with you today.
12:46 PM EDT
cici said…
thinking of you, and praying
1:05 PM EDT
nikko said…
I am crying for you today. :o(

((((Hugs))))
1:14 PM EDT
laeroport said…
Hugs and prayers for you, my friend. You are very much in my thoughts today.
1:56 PM EDT
Sam said…
Every been reading your blog for a while and I have to say that day comes too soon. I'm sorry.
3:05 PM EDT
FinnyKnits said…
You're in my thoughts today, Ms Lera. I'm glad that run could give you a good place for a good solid cry. Sometimes running does have therapeutic benefits.
4:15 PM EDT
Lisa said…
So hard to believe.... seven years. Why does it feel like yesterday and a million years ago all at once? I'm glad we were able to spend the morning together. When we got to the temple, Ian got out of the car and said "Where's Aunt Lera"? :) We missed you. Love you lots.
5:53 PM EDT
Brenda said…
Sweetie, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
7:09 PM EDT
Cindy Is Crafty said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
7:17 PM EDT
Cindy Is Crafty said…
Lera, it is hard to believe it, but it does get easier. Not ever over, but easier. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

When my Mom passed I thought I would never recover from it, but I did. There is a scripture in Jeremiah that gives me comfort during that time and I will share it with you:

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified" (Isa. 61:3).

I clung heavily to that verse for quite a while!
7:18 PM EDT
Amanda Jean said…
hugs to you my dear. thinking of you.
9:49 PM EDT
Diane said…
I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you.
11:22 PM EDT
Me and Him said…
hugs and prayers.
11:59 PM EDT
dig this chick said…
So hard and unfair. Thinking of you in Montana.
9:15 AM EDT
Suzanne said…
Thinking of you today...
1:24 PM EDT
onegirliegirl said…
I'm so, so sorry! I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, but my prayers are with you and your family!!

(((Hugs)))

Lisa
7:14 PM EDT
jessica said…
I'm so sorry for your loss Lera. Peace be with you.
10:59 AM EDT
Bonus Mom said…
Lera, I am sorry for your terrible loss. Hugs from blogland!
12:13 PM EDT
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