the sky is pink

So I finally made (and sent) Alana's Halloween costume . Actually, I did it the same day I posted that it needed to be done. I guess it was the guilt that got me. Alana had texted me in early September asking me to make her a bonnet and apron because she wanted to be the Sun-Maid Raisin girl for Halloween. However, in early September she neglected to tell me that she had three costume parties in September . I really thought I had time to make it. I mean, after all, it's not like I sit around on my tush all day long. I do have a family and a busy life like everyone else. So, yes, the guilt got me and I really had to get it done and over with and worry about my own children's Halloween costumes. I must admit that I was a little grumbly when I started cutting and sewing that day. I used an old pattern for the bonnet, but somehow the directions were missing. It wouldn't have been so bad, but there were several hat patterns on the same pattern and I couldn't figure ou...

This is my sister, Kristen. Four years ago today (September 9, 2002) Krissy was killed in a car accident. She was the loving mother of two, Alana (5) and Timothy (2). She was one month shy of her 23rd birthday. This is Kristen with her children at our sister's wedding in November 2001. This is a "sisters picture." From left to right: Kate, Krissy, Emily, me, Lisa. This was Christmas at my aunt's in the late 90's (I'm assuming). Kristen and my father during her "daddy-daughter dance" at her wedding (February 1998). Another sisters picture. From left: Emily, Krissy, Lisa, Kate, me. (June 2001) Another sisters picture (one of the last ones taken), at Kate's wedding November 2001. Top from left: Emily, Brenda (my brother's wife), me. Bottom from left: Krissy, Kate, Lisa. And this picture of Krissy is from the last time I saw her. March 30, 2002. Krissy was living in New York, and I was living in Ohio. Our entire family was together...

Nine years ago today, my sister, Kristen, died. In following family tradition, we met for breakfast. Today is also my parents' 44th wedding anniversary, so my parents, three sisters and I met at a local, family-owned restaurant. When I pulled into the parking lot, I looked around to see if I recognized any cars. I saw my parents' car, so I hopped out and walked toward the restaurant. I thought I heard my sisters talking, so I stopped and looked around. I didn't see anyone, so I continued walking. Then, very distinctly, I heard my sister, Kate say (in a sing-songy voice) "Laurie." (No one calls me Laurie, except family. I do not like to be called Laurie.) Again, I stopped, looked around and said (out loud), "I hear you. I just don't see you." And nothing. No sisters in sight. No other voices. I walked into the glass vestibule at the restaurant and a police officer was standing there smiling at me. (I'm hoping he didn't think I was too loony.)...

Five years ago today, my sister, Kristen , died tragically in a car accident. She was a young mother of two. I miss her dearly. Sometimes it seems that it was yesterday (when I feel the pain). Sometimes it feels longer (when I try to remember the last time I saw her; the last time I talked to her; the last time I heard her voice). All week, my chest has felt a tightness when I thought of her and the impending anniversary. Actually, most times I think of her my chest tightens and I feel sad. Sometimes, when I think of her I smile. But most times, I'm sad. She was a wonderful girl. A wonderful mom. Very sweet. And funny. And many more wonderful qualities . She died on my parents' 35th wedding anniversary . She died when Mason was two weeks old. Mason, Spenser, and Sawyer have never met her. Taylor, Carter, and Jackson vaguely remember her. Yet, they all know her. From the photos. From the stories. From her children, Alana and Timmy. I try to keep her memory aliv...

The little girl ... The animal lover ... Mother of two ... Sister ... (Emily, left, and Kristen, right ) Kristen October 6, 1979 - September 9, 2002 Always remembered. Never forgotten. Always missed.

Go ahead and fill in the blank: ________. Frazzled. Frustrated. That's me. I have a bunch on my plate today. Well, the past few weeks. Taylor is officially starting his Eagle Scout project . He is building three benches for a walking path in our town. It has taken since the spring for the BSA district to approve the project. An insane amount of time. We had hoped to have it completed this summer. Before soccer season started. Now we're thick in the middle of soccer season. We just started to receive donations this week. The boards have been cut and, if the rain holds off this evening, the benches will be assembled with the help of the scouts from our troop. Awesome. Installation and cleanup of the park are scheduled for the 16th. We honored Kristen's memory on September 9th with a family brunch at my house. Eight long years since she died. Today Kristen would have been 31 years old. On September 6th, we started a small remodel of our kitchen. It was "done enough...

Here is most of my family in front of the Washington D.C. Temple on September 9, 2005. From left: my father (Ron), my mother (Debby), Lisa, me (holding Spenser), Emily, Kate, Andy, and Peter. My brother, Craig, could not make it that day. We went to the temple to find peace and solace on the third anniversary of my sister, Kristen's, death. Kristen (22) died in a car accident on September 9, 2002, and we miss her dearly.

We had another busy weekend. Why do weekends go by so quickly? It seems like it was just Friday and here it is Monday already. It went quickly, except for Saturday which seemed like the longest day ever. I awoke at 1:30 a.m. Saturday morning and could. not. fall. back. to. sleep. Yes. I'm talking like, I was awake-awake. Wide awake . By 8:30 Saturday night I was running out of steam for the longest day ever. It was a good day, though. The boys had soccer. Jackson and Mason's team won, thanks to Jack's two goals. Carter's team won and he scored one goal, if not more. (He always claims more than I see. He says he kicks it in after a pass and I never seem to see it.) Taylor's team played another team from their school. It was two teams of friends. It was a good, close game, but the other team won. And Spenser had a birthday party to go to. My two nieces celebrated their birthdays by hiring a nail technician (Edwina) to paint all the girls' nails. (My niece and ...

It's the day I dread 364 days of the year. The day that makes my heart feel like it's in a vice. And the squeezing feeling is unbearable. And it hurts to breathe. The day that turns my stomach into one giant knot. It's the anniversary of the worst day of my life. It's the reminder of this day that made me sob on a recent five-miler in the middle of nowhere. Just me, bawling my eyes out, as I ran down the road. All alone. Without a single witness. Seven years. My sweet Kristen . Much too long .

We had our first chicken tragedy on Saturday. I went out to gather eggs and check the chickens, and noticed one wasn't running when I made my "kissing" sounds that make them come running. Without even looking at her, I knew she was dead. Buckwheat. She was my favorite. She was an Aracauna with black and white feathers. She was beautiful. The kids sometimes called her Roadrunner because if she got out, that girl could run. I ran up to the house to get Joe. Carter knew something was wrong. He is so attached to these chickens. He nearly beat Joe out the door trying to get there as fast as he could. Carter cried and, as I hugged him, I gave him the "life on a farm is tough" talk. Not that we live on a farm. But we do have a chicken coop, smokehouse, and barn on our property. It was once a little farm. Joe scooped her up with a shovel and asked me what he should do with her. And, being the practical farm girl that I am, I replied, "Oh, just toss her over the fe...

Thank you for your sweet words yesterday . I read through your comments yesterday afternoon and cried. And then I looked at some pictures of Krissy and watched some DVDs and sobbed. Spenser thought my sobs were laughs and she laughed "along" with me. Then I sobbed louder and she laughed louder. And then she saw my tears. She was so very sweet. She wiped my tears and put her arm around my neck and her face next to mine. I needed to have a "cry-fest," as Joe calls them. After a little while, my tears dried and I was left with very crunchy and clumped eyelashes and a headache and nausea (from stress). I spent a good portion of my day with my family. I had breakfast with my mother, three sisters, one brother, three nephews, one niece, and Sawyer (while Spenser was in preschool). Later in the day my entire family got together for pizza, including two more brothers, sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews, etc. We ended the evening at the cemetery. The cem...

So, the day before the funeral my mother asks what I'm wearing. And then she reminds me that, now that I'm on town council , I need to dress "professionally" for some events. Uh ... I don't know. Joe is wearing his "dress blues," which is the equivalent of the military's tuxedo and I'm wearing .... Ohmygoodness! What am I going to wear?!? You would think after a decade or so of only wearing black, that I'd have a bunch of black in my wardrobe. But I don't. I still have the skirts I wore to Kristen's funeral, but they are seven years old and I was two-weeks postpartum then. And I have a black pencil skirt, but that just didn't seem right to me. So what's a girl to do? Well, whip up a black skirt as quickly as possible. I gave the fitted A-line skirt another go. And, again, it was too large. But it just had to do. I used some velvety soft black, no-wale corduroy that I had bought to make a Halloween dress for Spenser. I had ex...

One fabric rosette pin+ one bar of handmade chocolate-mint soap = Sisters' gifts for 2009 Every year on Christmas Eve my sisters and I (and my mother, sisters-in-law, my brother's fiancee, and my sister-in-law's sister) all exchange gifts. Everyone gets the same thing or with little variance. The gift I gave this year was a bar of my soap and a fabric rosette pin. Previous years of handmade sisters' gifts: 2008 - snowman towels and soap 2007 - zippered pouches and soap 2006 - family cookbooks and tissue pouches and soap 2005 - "home is where the heart is" embroidered, framed plaque (not blogged) 2004 - can't remember 2003 - can't remember 2002 - "sisters are forever" embroidered pillow (not blogged) which was the Christmas after Kristen died. 2001 - homemade glycerin soap and bath salts.

I am just returning from hospice. My grandmother passed away tonight. With her four daughters, sons-in-law, and most of her sixteen grandchildren at her bedside. My father offered a prayer in her behalf, and after the prayer she took her final breath and left this world. Peacefully. Comfortably. And much loved. We will think of you often, Mom-Mom . We will love you forever. We will see you again. (Please tell Kristen that I love her.)

When I went to the post office to check my mail today, I saw red ... literally! At first I thought it was Netflix (which it was, too). Then as I pulled out my mail from the box, I saw a lovely red Mailorder envelope! Yipee! Can't wait to get started on it! This morning I ran into town to have my glucose tolerance test. Yuck. I think that's all I have to say about that test! So, as I had an hour to kill in the waiting room, I smocked (Christy, you should be so proud of me!). Christy was teaching me how to smock while I was on bedrest and she's been bugging me to finish ever since! I also had grabbed my ipod on the way out the door, and without little ones to share it with, I listened to my music and smocked. It was a very peaceful hour ... until ... I had a "sad song sneak attack." It caught me by surprise. The song was I Believe by Diamond Rio. It reminds me of my sister, Kristen , who was killed in a car accident. I wasn't ready for the tears. Big fat, juicy ...

Happy birthday to my sweet nephew, Timmy ! Today he is 6 years old. Timmy, and his sister Alana (pictured below), are my sister, Kristen's, children. Krissy was killed in a car accident September 9, 2002, leaving behind Timmy (who was 2) and Alana (who was 5). I'm sure it has been a difficult week for the children, with Mother's Day and Timmy's birthday so close together. I know that Krissy is watching over them today and always. May God continue to bless Timmy and Alana. P.S. Timmy was in the car accident when his mother died. The scars on his forehead are from the halo he had to wear for his broken neck (always a constant reminder). He also broke his leg. Alana was in kindergarten at the time of the accident.

Lots of cold germs are floating around our house. I think Joe and I are the worse at the moment. Others have some symptoms, but not all, like we do. And I think Joe and I are at the same stage of our colds -- day for day. Today my niece and nephew, Alana and Timmy, were "baptized" into a different religion. These are the children of my sister, Kristen, who was killed in a car accident 3 1/2 years ago. I found this quite upsetting. They were baptized at the request of their new step-mother. I think my sister wouldn't be very happy about any of this, as she would want her own children raised with the same religious background as she was raised. Nevertheless, there was nothing we could do about it, except attend the service in support of Alana and Timmy. I forgot to mention yesterday that we attended the school's "Spring Fling" after the pinewood derby. The boys were so excited on our way there. Especially Mason. At this Spring Fling, they have different games ...