I'm old. I know.
Since I am among friends, I thought I would share a few things with you. (After all, I've already told you how old I am, and I've told you how much I weighed!)
So here goes ...
1. My real name is Laura.
2. All of my friends call me “Lera” (rhymes with “hurrah,” not “Vera”)
3. More people call me Lera than Laura.
4. “Lera” was an inside joke, circa 1985.
5. It was actually “Lera Fera,” and I shortened it.
6. Both names have dual meanings.
7. “Lera” was code for “Do I have a boogie in my nose?” or “You have a boogie in your nose.”
8. “Fera” was code for “Am I singing off-key?” or “You are singing off-key.”
9. My older sister and I made those up.
10. Until now, they have never been revealed.
11. You are thinking I am really weird right now.
12. I think I agree.
13. I graduated from college in 3 ½ years.
14. I wasn’t smart.
15. I was broke.
16. I was a DJ for the college radio station.
17. I played alternative music.
18. I hate spiders.
19. I check between my sheets for spiders every night.
20. That’s because Joe got out of bed one night to investigate a mysterious sound. When he left, a spider crawled out from between the sheets. I was in bed. In the dark. And I still saw the spider!
21. I have a high metabolism.
22. I eat a lot.
23. I don’t like sports.
24. Last week, someone told me I looked 24.
25. When Joe and I first married, we thought we would have 3 children.
26. We have doubled that number.
27. I am very fertile.
28. I got pregnant within 2 months of getting married.
29. Joe was away (Army training) for 6 weeks of those two months.
30. That pregnancy ended in miscarriage, at 12 ½ weeks.
31. I was afraid I would never get pregnant again.
32. I was wrong.
33. I have 3 relatives that struggle with infertility.
34. I feel guilty about that.
35. I have known Joe since the 7th grade.
36. We never dated until after college.
37. I played the clarinet from 4th-12th grade.
38. I used to speak German.
39. Vomit makes me want to throw up.
40. I hate the word “vomit.”
41. And “up-chuck.”
42. Both words make me queasy.
43. I can’t watch shows that involve throw up.
44. I can’t listen to shows that involve throw up.
45. I have to change the channel.
46. Or turn my head and sing in a “Fera” way.
47. I am the second oldest of 8 children.
48. The older sister is 38.
49. The youngest brother is 20.
50. I have four sisters and three brothers.
51. I love the smell of baby’s breath.
52. Not the flower.
53. The actual smell of my baby’s breath.
54. I nursed all of my babies.
55. They never tasted formula.
56. I have been pregnant and/or nursing since March 1996 (not including my miscarriage).
57. I never had any complications until my past pregnancy with Sawyer.
58. I threw up with every pregnancy, except Sawyer.
59. I do not like sci-fi movies and shows.
60. I fall asleep during movies.
61. Just ask Joe.
62. I could live without Comedy Central.
63. I don’t like watching shows with bad language.
64. I do not use the Lord’s name in vain.
65. I do not drink coffee, tea, or caffeinated sodas.
66. I do not drink alcohol.
67. I eat salad every day.
68. At least one. Sometimes more.
69. I like salad.
70. I drink water more than anything else.
71. Sometimes I add lemon juice.
72. I like to use straws when I drink.
73. I don’t enjoy baking.
74. I hate wafting flour.
75. It makes too much of a mess.
76. I don’t like messes.
77. Or clutter.
78. I’m partially claustrophobic.
79. I don’t like to breathe warm air.
80. Mine or anybody else’s.
81. I was punk rock in high school and college.
82. I wore all black for more than a year straight.
83. Then I wore a little red, orange, and white mixed in with black.
84. I swore I would never, ever wear pink.
85. I wear pink now.
86. I almost never wear black.
87. I do not have a favorite color.
88. I love hot, spicy, and salty foods.
89. I like chocolate, but I can live without it for days/weeks at a time.
90. I like my hair short.
91. Joe likes my hair long.
92. Right now it’s longer than I like.
93. I lighten my hair, even though I have blond hair.
94. I rarely shave my legs.
95. The hair on my legs is blond and fine, and only visible when light sparkles off of it.
96. I must wear mascara, or my eyelashes are invisible.
97. I rarely go without makeup.
98. I haven’t read a book for pleasure in more than a year.
99. I’m now in my “upper thirties.”
100. That’s scary.
So I will spend my day running Mason to preschool. Running errands. Snuggling with babies. Smelling baby breath. Running Taylor to soccer. Running Taylor, Carter, and Jack to karate. And probably laundry.